There's No Place Like Home
by pinkconchshell
Summary: Cute little late fic for Christmas. Ginny recieves word that Molly and Arthur are getting...DIVORCED! Oh, no! So she has to go tell all her brothers and their families, and mass chaos ensues. Hooray!


There's No Place Like Home

Well, the priest told this joke at the Christmas mass, and it's been stuck in my head ever since. So, the idea sort of formed itself into the Harry Potter world (WHICH I DON'T OWN!) and now yeah. Here it is. Be brutal.

* * *

Once upon a time, in a land of witches, wizards, and magic, there was a young family that was sitting down wearily to their evening meal. Now this family of five was all wizards and could perform marvelous deeds of wonderment, yet they always had a strange fascination with the Other World. The Other World, my children, is the world of high school and ipods and Rose Bowl Games and Snuggies, and you may have heard of it before but I just wanted to refresh your memory. Anyways, the peace of the night was disturbed when the tellyfone (as all but one called it) rang from the kitchen and a beautiful redheaded woman rose to go and answer it.

"Hello?" she asked, in a sweet but weary voice. The faces of her husband and children looked up curiously to see what was happening.

"Ginny?" said a familiar voice. The woman named Ginny perked up and she seemed to stand up a little straighter at the sound of her father.

"Dad!" She exclaimed happily, for she had not heard from him in quite some time.

"Ginny, dearest, I have some bad news to tell you," said Arthur, for that was his name and he bore it proudly. "I'm sorry to have to ruin your holidays, but out of all the kids I really do think that you are the most mature. You always could handle these things better than any of the boys."

"Dad, what's the matter?" Ginny asked, twisting her hair of fire around her delicate finger nervously.

"Your mother and I are getting a divorce, sweetheart." said Arthur's solemn voice. "We tried to make it work, but really, don't you think that fifty six years of misery is enough?"

"Divorced?" Ginny shrieked, making her eavesdropping family jump high in their seats. "Now hold on a minute Dad, don't you think this is a bit drastic? I mean, I know that you and mum have had your spats from time to time but this-"

"It's been coming for a long time," Arthur said, and Ginny could practically see him sigh in despair. "Now, dearest, if you could do me a favor and tell your brothers for me, that would be wonderful. I don't think I have the strength to do this again five more times."

"Okay, Dad?" Ginny said, tucking a piece of flaming hair behind her hair in worry. Her family exchanged glances. "Just, stay right where you are, alright? I'll call Ron and tell him to floo everyone else. Harry and I will pack up the kids so that we can be over there by Christmas Eve tomorrow. Please, just wait until we can come so that we can try and reason with you and mum."

"Yes, of course honey. Don't worry, we'll wait right here."

"Goodbye then." Ginny said, and whirled around, her lovely forehead creased in anxiety.

Now, the man named Harry who was Ginny's husband had gotten to his feet and was ready to comfort his wife, but she brushed him aside and hustled the three children into their bedrooms where she ordered them to pack as fast as they could. Holding up a finger to Harry's lips, she ran to get her cell phone (for she could never remember all five of her brother's phone numbers) and dialed Ron's number as fast as she could.

Now Ron's wife Hermione, who was very angry with her husband at the moment for forgetting to pay the electric bill, answered the phone with the grudge still in her heart. But when she heard what was going on she rushed her husband and children into the fireplace and into their Uncle George's home, where he and his family were trying to douse a fire that had mysteriously sprung up from an old book that George's late brother Fred had previously loathed.

Ron and George's families crammed into Angelina's beautiful ornate fireplace and flooed all the way to Percy's house, where they interrupted a French lesson he had been giving his daughter. All the men decided to fly to the Burrow, which is what they called their parent's house, while the women and children took the floo network to go and alert a man named Charlie, who was found trying to seduce a lovely young woman named Penelope Clearwater. Of course, there was much awkwardness, for the woman named Penelope had been Percy's first lover, and the brothers didn't have the nerves to look at each other until they reached their brother Bill's home. Bill was quite frightened when a melee of people came tumbling out of his fireplace and when the stomping feet of anxious men sounded on his rooftop. He was informed of the situation and went and woke his wife and children, who joined the people in the fireplace with looks of contempt.

And so the entire Potter-Weasley clan rushed as fast as they could to the Burrow by magical means of magical transportation, attracting very strange looks from the people of the Other World who happened to catch a glimpse of them. But, what they didn't know was that back at their Father's house, a very excited Arthur was turning to his still-lovely wife and sitting down next to her to enjoy the fabulous meal that she had cooked especially for him.

"Good news, Mollywobbles," he said cheerfully.

"Oh?" said Molly, who was a bit distracted by their trembling cat. "Look, dear, I think he's having a seizure."

"The kids are coming home for Christmas," Arthur said, ignoring her, for the excitement of the thing was much more interesting. "And we don't even have to pay for their plane ticket!"


End file.
